Re: Humorous Jokes

by **BlackOps13** Sun Nov 06, 2022 5:45 am

Sitting on the edge of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car driving along at 22 M.P.H. He thinks to himself, that car is just as dangerous as a speeder. So, he turns his lights on and pulls the car over. Approaching the car, he notices there are 5 old ladies, two at the front and 3 at the back, wide eyed and looking like ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, said, "Officer, I don’t understand, Iwasn’t doing over the speed limit! What did you pull me over for?"
"Ma’am," the officer said, "You should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous".
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir! I was doing exactly 22 miles an hour", the old woman said proudly.
The officer, trying not to laugh, explains that 22 is the route number, not the speed limit. A little embarrassed, the woman smiled and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"Before I go Ma’am, I have to ask, is everyone ok? These women seem badly shaken and haven’t said a word since I pulled you over."
"Oh! they’ll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route142" ...

by **BlackOps13** Fri Nov 04, 2022 5:11 am

by **BlackOps13** Thu Nov 03, 2022 2:49 am

It's the year 2022, WWIII has started. 1st world countries vs 2nd world countries and Middle East. Britain asks for reinforcement from Australia. The Australian regiment arrives and next morning starts preparing while the British Commander enters and starts increasing the army's morale:

British Commander: Did you came here *to die*?

Australian Soldier: No sir, we came here *yester-die*.

by **BlackOps13** Wed Nov 02, 2022 2:23 am

Einstein sitting next to an Indian Guy said, you know, this is a long flight, why don't we have a knowledge test. I ask you a question and if you can't answer it, you give me $5.00. You ask me a question and if I can't answer it, I will give you $500.00. The Indian guy thought this sound good. so, he agreed. Einstein asked the first question: "How far is the Moon from the Earth?". The Indian conceded that he had no idea, so he reached into his pocket and gave Einstein $5.00. In turn, he asked: "What goes up with three legs and comes down with four?" Einstein conceded that he had no idea what the Indian was talking about, so he reached into his pocket and gave the Indian $500.00. Einstein said before I ask you the next question "what Goes up with Three legs and comes down with Four?". The Indian reached into his pocket and gave him $5. 00..

by **BlackOps13** Tue Nov 01, 2022 6:46 am

tried having my mother’s phone disconnected, but the customer-service rep told me that since the account was in my dad’s name, he’d have to be the one to put in the request. The fact that he’d been dead for 40 years didn’t sway her. Then a solution hit me: “If I stop paying the bill, you can turn off the service, right?” “Well, yes,” she said reluctantly. “But that would ruin his credit.” —Jeannie Gibbs

by **BlackOps13** Mon Oct 31, 2022 7:11 pm

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

**"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]

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